So, I bop into a coffee shop and there is a coupe of young women talking about stuff. Then, all of a sudden the one girl-quick witted, with delicious intelligent flashing eyes, and a map/diagram in her hand says “and he just came out of nowhere and then I hit him! he didn’t have any insurance.”
Fast forwards into several minutes of conversation, some legal scenario’s, and then the bomber: there is indeed a race issue involved, and it appears that girls’ sister-the legal owner of the car- was a bit pissed when she heard that an uninsured Mexican was the motorist who darted of a freeway ramp, crossed a double yellow line, and entereda parking lot in the out lane-just as our Phillipina driver hit his rear bumper.
Without getting into legalities, layers of intersectionality, or plain ol’ rationalization of clas discrepancies, suffice it to say this “accident” ended as most “accidents” with uninsured drivers do: the girls car sustained thousands in damages and Senor’ Sin Seguro got a dent in his rear quarter panel on a beat up truck.
Well, that’s not even the good part, because after we both agreed more or less that Senor’ Sin Seguro likely had enough problems on his hands without a Pinay girl and her sister up in his grill or locking him away indefinitely in the INS holding tank, we had a laugh about something else: Google search results which steer the clever researcher into NOT incriminating themselves.
How’s that you say?
WEll-here, have a look at the joke that Google auto-suggestion is. And, imagine of you were animmigrant, trying to figure it all out? Google could easily mislead you-as easily as it can lead you.
Google “I hit an uninsured motorist” WITH the quotation marks.
You will get seven results- SEVEN, and Google will suggest to you the alternative phrase “I was hit by an uninsured motorist.” Or ” I got hit by an uninsured motorist.”
Yeah, weid, huh? Onlyseven results.
Now- Google “I hit a bird with my car.” Some 9 plus MILLION reults right?
Now Google “I hit a crippled guy.” 11, 600, 000 results, or so right?
THEN Google ” I a uninsured motorist,” using “a” instead of “an”.
If your results match mine, there will be one-exctly ONE result for “I hit a uninsured motorist.” One-EXACTLY ONE result for that EXACT language.
And of course, after Google picks this article into its picker, there will be two results for this phrase. But as you Google this, say it out loud, in a southern drawl- and the results wil show you to this link, where A country boy hits a cow with his truck.
Do you get it yet?
Let me know if you figure out where the joke is in there, and get back to me-but we sure had a laugh about hillbillies, and Google, suggesting alternative search terms for those with even an ounce of intellect.
The score? Good drivers 1, animals, 2. G Google searchers with a sense of humor unfettered by political correctness? 11 million, six hundred thousand and some odd in change.
Meantime, if you are not bored enough for Google games with language, maybe go rent one of the best movies ever made about LA life, car crashes, and race: Crash, starring Matt Dillon and Thandie Newton.
And, if you are tired of LA and need a brief break-read about te troubles of the country people, or asVon Kommanivanh, a Chicago artist who seems to have fallen over a cliff used to call them “the farmers”:
From the online forum of cattle farming, CattleToday.com brings us the thriller “Cow versus Truck.”
“Last week I hit a cow going the speed 65 mph at 8:30 pm with oncoming traffic which is why I couldnt see her. It really broke my heart when she looked at me before the we connected….
Related Story: Von Kommamivanh was so disgusted with those who run the art world thathe dropped off a cliff. But you can see his work in the Walsh Gallery in Chicago.
Maybe Von felt he was being undermined, or undercut by the deep ethnocentricism and nepotism of the art world. Or the covert tribal racism that subserviates other tribal narratives, or tries to overlay poitical bagage onto the shoulders of those who don’t wanna hold the bag.
Or maybe, Uncle Sam. Either way, this piece is “Chopping Legs Off,” at the Walsh Gallery.
AAAAAAAnd, the MORAL of this story is “individuality allows for exceptionalism, exceptions, and car crashes that don’t always involve the police.”